Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Hillbilly's Sweet Tooth

I don't know why my Hillbilly thinks he needs sweets at every meal, but you'd think he'd have the common decency to at least get a little fat! No, he stays slim while eating cookies, and I gain a pound for every chocolate chip. So unfair! But I'll let him tell you about it.

Since my recent blog about river hillbillies seemed to have frightened everyone away to where they wouldn’t even comment, (wimps), I decided to talk about sweets.  Yes, sweets!  You know!  Those things we cannot leave alone such as cookies, candies, cakes, pies, doughnuts, cinnamon rolls, and ice cream!  Yum!  Yeah!  
Cake by Alyssa

Just with me mentioning them, I bet you are already thinking, yeah I would like to have some of that!  It’s all good.  It is just diet food ---- eat it today, diet tomorrow --- or at some distant time in the future.

I will admit --- I am a sugarholic!  I was raised on a farm where we ate well!  We raised cattle, chickens, and sometimes hogs!  We had large gardens with such things as potatoes, corn, lettuce, cabbage, cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, peppers, radishes, beets, turnips, okra, and rhubarb.  We had an orchard with apples and peaches.  We had a strawberry patch.  Black berries, goose berries, elder berries, pokeweed, and also walnut trees grew wild on the farm.  With all that available to eat fresh and to can and/or freeze, we ate very well.  And every meal had a desert or at least jams, jellies, or apple butter to put on toast.  I was one well fed hillbilly!
Pie by Cynthia

Unfortunately, I learned to eat very well but not to cook well or at all.  That wasn’t my job on the farm. Unfortunately, after things went bad in my life, I was forced to learn to cook.  I could already grill, but the weather is not always great for that.  Being hillbilly tough, bad weather didn’t always stop me.  At various times, I have grilled hamburgers for my kids when it was nighttime, about 15 degrees outside, windy, snowing, and with 10 inches of snow already on the ground.  The burgers were great but I wouldn’t suggest doing that on an ongoing basis.

  At any rate, I learned to cook a few things such as a spicy spaghetti, tacos, roasts, etc.  But ---- my real talent came in what I love ---- desserts!  Being a sugarholic/dessertaholic, leaning more towards being a cookie monster, I became a cookie aficionado.  I stretched on into other things for which I would get hungry, such as cakes, pies, breads, and so on, but cookies were and are still my passion.
Chocolate chip cookies
Okay, I don't know who made the cookies. I found the picture on wikimedia.

In a normal month, for potlucks, family events, etc., I probably bake twelve dozen cookies a month.  Being in that holiday stretch from Thanksgiving through the end of the year, I am into cookie marathon time.  For Thanksgiving, I baked about 5 ½ dozen Chewy Chocolate cookies and Cynthia baked 2 pumpkin pies.  

The next day, for a 2nd Thanksgiving celebration, I baked about 5 ½ dozen Reese's peanut butter cup cookies and Cynthia baked what I consider to be the world’s best pecan pie. 

 For my son and daughter-in-law’s early holiday season get together, I baked 5 ½ dozen Chewy Chocolate cookies and Cynthia and I made 3 gallons of Milky Way ice cream.  

Then the next day for a potluck, I baked 6 dozen of the Reese's peanut butter cup cookies.  

Then for my customer appreciation, I baked 9-10 dozen Almond Roca bars, 5 ½ dozen Chewy Chocolate cookies, 6 dozen Reese's peanut butter cup cookies, and 6 dozen chocolate chip cookies.  

If my math is right, I think that is about 44 dozen cookies or bars I have baked, (a gazillion calories), in about three weeks.  
Seriously! Does this look like a man who eats sweets at EVERY meal? It's so unfair!

And I have been good!  I have only eaten ------ a few ---- samples---- here and there.  You know, the broken ones where the calories have bled out, (oops broke another one), the ugly ones that no one else would (ahem), want.  Besides, you have to check them out to make sure they are good you know!  Hmm!  I wonder if there are might be a few left on which I can go and run another taste inspection?  It’s a tough job but I am hillbilly tough and up for the task.  Gotta go to work!

Hope you have a great and full-of-dessert holiday season! 

From the sugared up Hillbilly’s Corner!