My, my! The Internet has been keeping the Wicked English Teacher busy (and annoyed) this month. Perhaps you thought that I would be putting away my red pen for the summer, but that's not going to happen. Well, truthfully, I don't literally use red pen when correcting the Internet because it always messes up my computer screen...but that's not the point. The point is that it's time for another trip around the Internet with our figurative red pens to make corrections.
Remember it's not my goal to be mean here. It's my goal to keep you from looking stupid in print. How could that be mean? So here we go.
This month we have a number of examples from bloggers who clearly didn't read my recent post on apostrophe abuse. If you're not going to read my posts, you run the very real risk of falling to the wrath of the Wicked English Teacher. I mean, come on! Here I am sharing all this knowledge, and you're not even reading it? You get what you deserve.
This person was unsure about whether or not to use the apostrophe in the word ones, so she hedged her bets and gave us one of each:
Had this blogger read my post, she would have known that we never form the plural by adding an apostrophe. Just throw in that S and keep going.
Another blogger who failed to do her reading (Consider it your summer reading list, people!) wrote this:
Huh? Why in the world would we pluralize a word by just throwing an apostrophe at it? This is NOT the function of the apostrophe, kids! Just as we do with any other word ending in S, we form of the plural of canvas by adding ES: canvases.
Come on, y'all! That's first grade stuff! Chang Y to I and add ES.
Now here's a blogger who does the exact opposite; he leaves out apostrophes where he needs them. This one really startled me because this comes from a well-known writer who shares tips for improving one's blog.
Finally, let me share this card my mom received for her birthday:This card should say, "Well, really you're a queen every day."When we mean to say that something occurs each day, we use two words: every day. If we want to differentiate between special things and ordinary things, we use one word: everyday.
We use our everyday dishes every day.
There you go! I hope someone learned something from the Wicked English Teacher this month. Now go have a fabulous July!
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