Thursday, January 2, 2014

The Hillbilly Hangs with the Beasts

It's been a while since you've heard from him, but My Hillbilly is still here being just as wonderful as ever. Today he wants to talk to you about...this:

In my business of driving and picking up various types of samples from veterinary clinics, I have seen all types of animals, people, and events.   Some are sad, as some people lose their pets, and others are quite funny and adorable.  I have chosen to write about the funny or adorable ones.

I arrived at one clinic that had a glass front.  As I stepped out of the car, I noticed that there was a golden cocker spaniel inside that had decided I was coming to see him -- while I was still 30 feet away.  

Cocker Spaniel

He was so excited!  He was one of those dogs that didn’t just wag his tail, he wagged all over!  Look!  He is coming!  I love him!  Who is coming?  I don’t know but I love him and he will love me!  I step inside the veterinary and the owner says to his dog ---- Kill!  His dog continues to wag all over, and I told the owner, "I guess that he might kill a dog biscuit!"

I continue on to pick up the lab samples and then come back to the front.  This time the dog jumps on me and wraps his legs around my leg to try to keep me from leaving.  I said to the owner, “Friendly dog”.  

The owner then says, “If you think this one is friendly, you should see his brother.”  Yep, you guessed it, they would be great team of watch dogs!  You can see them reacting to burglars.  Oh!  Oh!  I am so happy that you have come to see us!  I love you!  Do you need help carrying out that TV!  Did I mention that there is another TV upstairs?  Did I mention that  I love you!  Don’t go!  Please come see me again!  Plea---se!!!

At another veterinary to get the samples, I walk by the cages where animals are kept overnight. I stepped through the door and a dog, which I hadn’t yet seen, crashed into the cage door right by my head to try get me by the throat.  That was only funny from the standpoint that this brave hillbilly almost messed his pants.

Angry German shepherd

At another veterinary, where I walk by the cages, there was a Great Dane with its head down, legs sprawled, leaning against the cage gate, that appeared to be completely oblivious.  I asked what was going on with it and was told it was liking its medicine ---- really liking its medicine!  I suspect the dog left there and began looking for the local doggie drug dealer!

One night as I was picking up samples, the vet and assistants asked me to come look.  They were having a good night.  They showed me 12 newborn Pitbull puppies and were doing a c-section delivery on a cat.  As it would for most of us, the wonder of life and cuteness of about anything newborn had them all in a great mood.  It improved Hillbilly’s mood also!

For my last and probably funniest event at a vet, I was walking in front of another glass fronted veterinary.  I was looking in, when I noticed a (probably 18-20 year old) girl who almost seemed to be dancing in front of the counter.  It looked kinda like an odd (really odd but somehow appealing) mating ritual dance.  The woman attendant was laughing.  I walked in and asked what was going on.  I was told that the girl had a pet rat which was in her sweater  -- which she was wearing!  

Rat on a lap

She was going through all kinds of motions and gyrations to try to get it out.  The rat was smelling cats, dogs, and strange humans and was doing everything it could to not be taken out.  I then, in a questioning voice, said something to the effect, you have a rat in your sweater?  And she said, "Yes --- he is quite a handsome thing." Then she asked if I wanted to see him.

My first thought was that rats are not handsome!   They are beady eyed little rodents which we did not want to have around our houses, barns, and feed sheds back on our Missouri farm.  But I told the girl, sure, let us see it! After a couple more minutes of watching her continued dancing about to try to remove the rat, and joining the attendant in laughter, I decided that this was going to take more time than I had and I left .  

As I left, I thought to myself that if there had been young men there at the time, they probably would have overlooked the strange dance because she was cute, sweet and hilarious.  And who knows?  If they were beady eyed with eyes close together, and had odd whiskers, she might have gone out with them!

I hope everyone has a great new year!
From the Hillbilly’s corner!

Have you seen anything cute, funny, or interesting during a trip to the vet? Share in the comments!