Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wicked English Teacher Wednesday

Today’s English Class Pop Quiz: How many words in the English language end in f-u-l-l? (Answer at the end of this post)

Okay, class. Here are some sentences found around the web today. Let’s analyze them to identify the errors they contain.

“It feels me with rage.” Unfortunately, while this sentence evokes some extremely interesting mental images, the writer was not discussing tactile contact with an infuriated gender-neutral…something.

Kids, one’s emotions are feelings. One has fillings in one’s teeth. You feel frustration and anxiety. You fill your tummy with chocolate, especially on rally days when your students come to school dripping with glitter, wearing tutus (yes, even the boys), and acting like they’re already at the rally ALL. DAY. LONG!! Then you fill your tummy with lots and lots of chocolate and take many slow deep breaths and even then….Okay…sorry. Back to the lesson.

“…but it will pass though.”  Class, today’s new word is “redundancy.” Let’s look at the first and last words of this excerpt.  “But” is a word used to show contrast, whereas “though” is….a word used to show contrast. “Redundancy” is a word used to identify unnecessary repetition. Now one might think that “Class, open your books to page 95….Johnny, we’re on page 95…Roxanne, we’re in the brown book on page 95…Girls, put your hairbrushes away and turn to page 95…Angel, pick your head up off your desk and turn to page 95..”  would be an example of redundancy. Notice however that the definition of redundancy is UNNECESSARY repetition. Believe me when I tell you that all of that repetition is absolutely necessary. Every. Single. Day.

“Mango wood can take a beating and retain it's beauty.”  Ok, since we’re talking about the beauty possessed by the wood, we do not want to use an apostrophe in its. Its without an apostrophe is a possessive pronoun, just like his, hers, and ours. It’s with the apostrophe is a contraction for it is, as in, “It’s too noisy in this classroom.  It’s not too late for me send you to the principal’s office. It’s not okay to pass notes during the spelling test. It’s about time for me to fill my tummy with some chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate!”

Ok. Class dismissed. Where did I put that candy bar?

Pop Quiz Answer: Exactly one. Only the word full ends in f-u-l-l. All those other words, such as wonderful, beautiful, spoonful, shameful, etc. end in one L. 


  1. I'm really glad I'm not an English teacher. I've been taking my writing class for a few weeks now and anytime I read something I can't help but notice all the errors! It feels me with rage to see all of these errors from "professionals." I think I'd go crazy if it was my job. :-)

  2. Oh my, love this. And forgive me for all the typos on my blog. I am not as bad as I appear to be. Lot of it is because my spell check disagrees with me.

  3. @momnextdoor It's impossible for me to completely shut down the English teacher part of me. I have learned to keep it from "feeling me with rage." :-)

    @Stash I'll forgive your typos if you'll promise not to laugh at my attempts at photography. Of course, polite constructive criticism is welcome.

  4. Brilliant! Things like this make me miss teaching, and then remember why I don't miss teaching, and then eat chocolate! XO

  5. @SCW I'm not sure teaching would be possible without chocolate. Welcome to my blog!

  6. AAAAARRRGG! I HATE this! You knew I would! The only thing I hate worse than bad spelleeng , grammmmer and the like iz people pointing it out in otherz!AAAARgggg! Where's my chocolate!?

  7. But, Chris, if I didn't point it out, how would they fix it? It MUST be fixed!


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