Saturday, October 22, 2011

What Star Trek Invention Do YOU Want?

 English class pop quiz: When is it proper to use "would of," "could of," or "should of"? (Answer at the end of this post.)

So the other day I was driving home from work, exhausted from herding cats teaching junior high school while fighting some massively terminal form of laryngitis. Freeway traffic was heavy, and for some unknown reason people insisted on driving somewhere near the speed limit. We all know that the speed limit is for those unskilled drivers who can't handle 75. Right? Don't we?


Anyway, as I was patiently driving home with all the other safe drivers, I found myself wishing there were some faster way to get from here to there. After all, when one is exhausted to the point of being a danger to other drivers tired, a 25 minute drive seems much too long. Yes, I realized, what I need is a STAR TREK TRANSPORTER!

Who doesn't need one of these! Especially us grandma types with babies on the other coast where we never get to see them! Awesomeness! Just push a few buttons and pop over to New Jersey for dinner with The Model!

Even The Monster is 30 minutes away. If he starts walking, I could be there for every step! Of course, it would mean fewer opportunities for the endless chatter lively conversation one enjoys when riding with the grandchildren.

Then I started thinking what other Star Trek inventions it would be cool to have. After all, we really do have the original Star Trek communicator:

And we have Lt. Uhura's earpiece AKA Bluetooth:

So what Star Trek invention would you most like to have? Me? After the transporter, I'd kind of like to check out the food replicator. It's kind of a microwave on steroids. Just tell it what you want, and out it pops.

"Tea. Earl Grey. Hot."
Oh, yeah!!

English class pop quiz answer: Never. NEVER. NEVER, NEVER, NEVERNEVERNEVER!
Should've, could've, and would've are contractions for should have, could have, and would have. Although they sound like "of," they are NOT. "Should of," "could of" and "would of" have no meaning at all and should never be used. In informal writing, it's okay to use the contraction. In more formal writing, use the two word phrase: should have, could have, would have.


  1. I'm grinding my teeth and giving myself a headache just reading those "would of" etc phrases. Aaaaaargh. I can't believe I just typed that. It hurts. It really does.

  2. I am in agreement with you. My parents live 4 hours away and while it's not as far as the opposite coast, I'd still rather "transport" then have to drive 4 hours with my kids! 

    And oh my God, yes! Please give me a food replicator!!!!

  3. Oh,yes, driving for 4 hours with kids should be a very rare occurrence!

  4. Hm. The food replicator would be nice. But I think I'd have to go with the medical tricorder. I'd like to be diagnosed within thirty seconds while keeping my clothes on. The rest of my family would probably choose the holodeck -- movies and videogames on steroids.

    Of course, these are not from the original series. But Gene Roddenberry created them, so I consider them authentic. And entirely possible. Get on that, brainy people.

    I would love a transporter, too.

    1. You're right; the tricorder would be great. I hate spending weeks or even months waiting for a diagnosis.


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