Wednesday, March 12, 2014

I Think I'll Be an Expert

As I look around the Internet, I see a  lot of sites about a lot of topics, all written by experts in their fields. Now, I don't know how these experts got to be experts, or who declared them experts, but I'm sure they are because they sound so experty. They speak with authority and confidence.

I've decided that I can be an expert too. In fact, I'm not satisfied with being an expert in only one area. I can be an expert in multiple fields; I just need to write with that tone of expertiness.

Let me share some of my expert advice:

Parenting

Don't kill them if you want to have grandchildren someday. I assure you, as an expert grandparent myself, that grandchildren are worth all the trouble of keeping your kids alive.
Walking the floor with a fussy slobbery granddaughter, and loving it!

Blog Design

You're going to want to include lots of things on your website, and that's good. You should include things like a header, some social networking icons, a link for readers to subscribe, links to popular posts, a way for readers to contact you, a link to your other pages, and hopefully some advertising. Just don't forget to leave some room for your actual blog posts. That's pretty important for a blog.

Job Seeking

Job is right between Esther and Psalms.

Cooking

Okay, I'm going to tell you how to make my mom's Enchilada Casserole. Sorry there's no picture, but I haven't had a need to cook this much food in a while. You all know this is not a cooking blog, but I am an expert cook. So let's get started. Here's how you get ready:
  1. Chop up an onion and a bell pepper
  2. Grate some cheddar cheese, oh about a pound. More or less.
  3. Brown a pound of ground beef and season it with some chili powder, salt, pepper, and garlic powder (or use fresh garlic). Drain.
Now add a half a bottle of taco sauce and 2-3 small cans of tomato sauce to the ground beef. Stir in the chopped bell pepper. Heat that all up until it's warm.

Now go find your 9x13" casserole dish. Also find some corn tortillas. They probably shouldn't be in the same place, but I don't know you very well, so whatever. I won't judge.

In the dish make layers like this:
  • Tortillas
  • Sauce
  • Onion
  • Cheese
Keep making layers until you're out of ingredients. I don't mean all the ingredients in your kitchen; that would just be silly. The ingredients in this recipe will do just fine.

Now you take your dish full of ingredients, cover it with foil, and put it into a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, take it out and serve it with some stuff like a salad, some corn, and a nice loaf of sourdough bread.

Let the kids do the dishes. It won't kill them. Now how's that for a full circle of expertiness?



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