Sunday, September 9, 2012

Crazy Gifts for the Early Holiday Shopper

Well, y'all, I've been in the stores, and apparently Christmas is coming, possibly sooner than expected. My local Target store has just about as many Christmas decorations as it does Halloween costumes. Makes it hard to figure out which holiday is coming first. Just in case Christmas really does come before Halloween this year, I thought I'd get a jump on my holiday shopping, so  I've been doing some looking around.

Because I love y'all, I'm going to share some gifts ideas that you might not have been aware of. There's a little something for everyone here.

Taking the Monster Energy Drink to a New Level

Here's a nice energy drink for the hard worker who's feeling dead on his feet:

Literary Lunchtime 

With school starting, you might want to turn your child's lunch break into an extension of his education. How about this charming literary lunch box featuring the master of mystery, Edgar Allan Poe? This item is recommended for ages 12-15! Just think how popular your adolescent will be carrying this gloomy little box. Help your child expose his or her classmates to horror stories that don't feature sparkling vampires! And yes, in case you weren't sure, this dandy little box comes complete with a "vinyl dangle" on a chain! Available at Amazon for your shopping convenience.
Get your very own Edgar Allan Poe lunch box from Amazon!

Kitchen Delights

Now for the cook in the house this little item is just about too good to be true. I can think of all kinds of uses for it! You know how impatient the kids get waiting for the holiday turkey to cook? Well, just put this inflatable turkey out where they can see it, and they'll assume they're going to eat soon and quit nagging you. Or maybe you have one of those mothers-in-law who thinks you're not taking proper care of her baby boy. Don't worry about how bad your Thanksgiving dinner looks, even if it's actually pizza. Just set this out on the table, take a picture, and send it to her as an example of the fine cuisine you're serving. Why, the possibilities are limitless!

While we're in the kitchen, let's not forget this indispensable culinary utensil! What did we do before these were invented? Yes, y'all, it's the Victorio Kitchen Products 571B Banana Slicer! Just think of it! No  more will the cook in your life be forced to break out the yardstick in order to get perfectly even banana slices! I know! It's amazing! You're welcome!

Twenty-first Century Survival

Now for your favorite city guy who might conceivably end up lost in the wilderness, or who wants to be ready for the Zombie Apocalypse, I found this nifty little gadget.The Tool Logic SVC2 Survival Card Tool Yes, it's a credit card-sized survival kit! The kit includes a serrated knife (with an ergonomic handle!), a magnesium alloy fire starter, tweezers, a signal whistle, and a red flashlight. I don't know why red, but still. It's a flashlight. So anyway, your favorite metrosexual can just slip it into his wallet alongside his credit cards, and bam! Zombie-proof!

Early Morning Target Practice

If you have a friend or loved one who hates morning as much as I do, this is the gift you're looking for.The Gun And Target Alarm Clock let's people like me take out their A.M. frustrations on the alarm clock rather than their bedmate. Not only is shooting the alarm clock extremely satisfying, it also acts as the snooze button! You actually get five more minutes of sleep in addition to killing the clock!! Well, that's assuming you planned for an extra five minutes of sleep when you set the alarm clock. I mean, the clock doesn't clear the extra five minutes with your boss or anything. That's still your job. Just sayin'.

For the Kids

Remote control vehicles are very popular with the kids. Your child can be a trend setter by leaving the RC cars behind and moving on to something a little more exotic. Take this Radio Control Tarantula for example. Your kid could be the first of his peers to own remotely controlled vermin.

Things That Need No Explanation

1. Bacon Flavored Toothpaste. Because bacon makes everything better.

2.Bacon Flavored Toothpicks See #1.

3.My personal favorite: The Runny Nose Shower Gel Dispenser  

So there you go. I hope this helps you during the busy holiday shopping season. I just love helping my readers this way.

What's the craziest gift you've ever given or received?

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